The noble Chihuahua

— The web page that this information comes from is extinct, so I’m preserving it here for the benefit of dog-lovers everywhere:

Few breeds of dogs can claim as mystical or mysterious a past as can the chi. One of the very few native American breeds, the chi’s roots can be traced back to the ancient Olmec, Toltec, and Aztec civilizations of Central America and Mexico. The Olmecs (now thought to be the mother culture of Mexico) had two sources of domesticated meat: turkey and dogs. Although repulsive to us now, this tradition of eating dogs was not unusual.

By the age of the Toltecs, there is evidence that a plump, thick-necked little dog with short erect ears and tail was bred for the table to be eaten principally by the nobility. It was not the Chihuahua as we know it today; but the Toltec carvings dating from the ninth century A.D. show a small dog with a rounded head and erect ears, reminiscent of the Chihuahua. This early dog, known as the Techichi, is believed to be the ancestor of most Central American breeds and was most fully developed my the conquerors of the Toltecs, the Aztecs.

The Aztecs kept several distinct types of dogs for a variety of reasons, the most unusual being sacrificial animals. Aztec life was filled with attempts to ensure prosperity by appeasing the gods with ceremonial blood offerings, usually of captive humans. These dogs lived in the temple with the priests. Dogs were believed to be able to see into the future, and to cure disease by transferring sickness to other people. A small red dog was believed to guide the souls into the underworld of the dead. Such a dog was kept in every Aztec household and killed at the grave and buried with any family member who died. Archaeologists have found the Techichi in human gravesites all over Mexico. Occasionally a pottery dog figurine was substituted for a real dog.

The Techichi was larger than a chihuahua, usually had long hair and was said to be mute. There are a lot of legends of how the modern chi was derived. Some say it was interbred with prarie dogs, others say it was crossed with a small Asiatic hairless dogs brought into the region by migrating Indian tribes, still others point to a more recent influence from China. At any rate, it was over 300 years or more until the dog known as the Chihuahua made its appearance

To celebrate multiculturalism and to express solidarity with the Korean people, I’ll now post a recipe for Chihuahua Vindaloo.

Chihuahua Vindaloo

Ingredients

4-5 jalapeno or serrano chilies, stems removed, sliced

25 dried red New Mexico chilies, seeds and stems removed
1 head of garlic, cloves separated and peeled
2 separate 1/2-inch cubes ginger root, sliced
2 tsp cumin seeds
2 tsp mustard seeds
1 medium onion, diced
1-inch stick of cinnamon
3-4 cloves
1 C oil
1/2 tsp ground mustard
1 tsp turmeric powder
1 medium Chihuahua, cut in 1-inch cubes (4 rats may be substituted in a pinch)
1 C vinegar
2 tsp salt

Method
Mix the dried chilies, garlic, half the ginger, cumin, mustard seeds, onion,
cinnamon and cloves together and grind or blend them to a fine consistency.

Heat the oil and fry the fresh green chilies, ground mustard and the rest of the sliced ginger until the ginger turns brown and is dry.

Then add the ground spices and the turmeric and fry for about 5 minutes. Add the dog and fry for 3-5 minutes. Then add the vinegar and salt and simmer very slowly for about 1 1/2 to 2 hours until the meat is tender and the oil floats on top.

Skim off oil before serving.

Serves: 4-6 Short-track speed-skaters

Note: The recommended method for slaughtering the dog is to overdose him on Quaaludes dissolved in Tequila. Remove the head, the coat, and the innards, and chop remaining bits with a cleaver. If the yield is less than two pounds, a mangy cat may be added to bring up the total to that amount, which is needed to offset the toxic effects of the vinegar.