— Doubting Thomas has declared himself president of the Omphalos Fan Club:
General Richard “Beef-n-Curry” Bennett
Not only did GEN Bennett win an amazing 10 Congressional Medals of Honor as an infantry officer in Vietnam, he also invented the light bulb, pocket pizza, space travel, the video game TRON, and the French language. As you recall, GEN Bennett was the young Captain in the Battle of Dak To who ordered a napalm strike on the infamous VC-run “Number Ten” Noodle Shop, which subsequently saved 5,000 people from getting a stomach ache and the shits. He also participated in Operation Buddy Hackett, which was a CIA campaign to root out irony in the Mekong Delta in 1969.
It’s very fine piece of work, and we should all encourage Tommy to take all his meds everyday.
Nice retort, General. That might win you a Meritorous Service Medal.