Alien Brain Stimulation

This editorial in the WSJ explains the mechanism of alien attack on our freedoms: Bless Ed Markey, the House telecom subcommittee chairman, but it didn’t enter his head unaided to hold up an iPhone at a hearing last week and — like the ape in the movie “2001” — ponder why he shouldn’t use it … Continue reading “Alien Brain Stimulation”

This editorial in the WSJ explains the mechanism of alien attack on our freedoms:

Bless Ed Markey, the House telecom subcommittee chairman, but it didn’t enter his head unaided to hold up an iPhone at a hearing last week and — like the ape in the movie “2001” — ponder why he shouldn’t use it with any wireless network he wants rather than just AT&T’s.

He was inspired by an alien epiphany (though he did not throw the iPhone in the air). Under brain stimulation from Jupiter, the movie ape noticed that a bone could be used to club a fellow ape. Under brain stimulation from the Google lobby, Mr. Markey noticed a club with which to bash the wireless industry into changing its business model and adopting one that better suits Google.

What Google and allied special interests want from their pet apes is slightly more intelligible than “2001’s” notoriously psychedelic ending — they want cellular operators to package and sell access to their networks the way landline broadband operators do.

Kind of cute, and essentially correct.

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