Since you can’t smoke on airplanes any more, we don’t need “No-smoking” lights. Why not make them ready to roll lights, for situations like this one:
A plane carrying sexy Broadway star Rachel York back to New York was forced down in Salt Lake City Tuesday after an agitated Egyptian man started flicking a butane lighter.
Quick-thinking flight attendants had passengers ready to roll against the man when he refused to move a suspicious-looking bag beneath his seat on Delta Air Lines Flight 1986.
“I said, `I’ll keep an eye on him,'” said Errol Goott, a 6-foot-1 South African, who said he was approached “in case (the passenger) needed to be stopped.”
The captain has illuminated the ready to roll light, so please return your seat backs and tray tables to their fully locked and upright positions, and kindly turn your attention to the swarthy dudes with the box-cutters near row 26. Rolling will commence as soon as our heroes are in position. Thank you for flying American and have a pleasant time at your final destination, which is gonna be a short trip for these swarthy dudes.