Thank you, Air America

I never did thank Air America for re-electing President Bush, so here we go, better late than never.

I believe Air America is secretly directed by a cabal of Republican Party insiders who use it as a tool to discredit the Democrats. Here’s why*:

1. Splitting the Democrat vote worked for the Reeps in 2000, with Nader draining-off enough votes to hand the victory to Bush.

2. Democrats are a bit slow, but they eventually catch on, so they vowed en masse not to support Nader in 2004, and the Reeps needed a new strategy. So along came Air America, the Loud Voice of the Loony Left, complete with a full battery of political hacks, failed comedians, and radio amateurs, Johnny on the spot.

3. Air America alienated enough centrist voters to hand a substantial victory to Bush and his party as people asked this question: Do I want somebody in the White House who turns to Stuart Smalley and Janeane Garofalo and Lizz Winstead for policy advice? Do the hosts on Air America reinforce the Left’s claim that it deeply analyzes problems and appreciates nuance and subtlety? Are they smart, well-informed people?

Most Americans don’t see teaching Saddam to do Daily Affirmations as a viable strategy for rooting out the terrorists or extinguishing their hatred for the Western way of life, so here we are.

(*Take off your tin-foil hat before reading this.)